Boy in Bloom by Nina Powers

Author:Nina Powers [Powers, Nina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781733263351
Google: 4eiZzQEACAAJ
Publisher: Telling Room
Published: 2020-08-20T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fourteen

“So, those are the guys you spent your time with,” Ollie says. Flynn and Everett have just said their goodbyes, Flynn pretending to get emotional as Everett dragged him out the door, complaining he was going to miss the reality show that’s on at eight every Saturday night if Flynn didn’t hurry up.

“What’d you think?” Ryan asks, sitting on his bed with his back pressed against the wall. He’s hugging his knees to his chest, and he’s quieter than normal, his gaze slightly unfocused.

“They were cool.”

“I know you don’t mean that,” Ryan says. He taps his finger on his knee in a steady rhythm.

“I mean, I was wildly uncomfortable the whole time. But as long as you like them, that’s really what matters.”

“You know, that’s the thing,” Ryan says, cocking his head. “I don’t. I mean, I kind of do. They’re funny sometimes. But I had kinda started to realize that I could have better than them, that I deserve better than them. And I got that, and I missed them at the beginning of the year, but now everything just seems like a fucked up dream.”

He shakes his head, and Ollie’s heart throbs in his chest. The blood in his veins is made of fire, and he wants to ask Ryan about what, or who, he meant by “better than them.” But he doesn’t ask, because Ryan is chewing on his lip so hard Ollie’s afraid he might draw blood.

“Is something else up?” Ollie asks.

“I don’t know,” Ryan says with a heavy sigh. “I just feel a little bad. Because I know you were uncomfortable, but you came anyway, and you did it for me, but I still knew it made you uncomfortable.”

“Because you were a womanizer and didn’t tell me any of the details?” Ollie says.

Ryan glares at him. “Don’t call me that.”

“It’s true,” Ollie says. His chest feels tight. If what Flynn said is true, Ryan has miles more experience than Ollie. How could Ollie possibly be so stupid to think that, out of everyone Ryan has hooked up with, he would choose Ollie at the end of it all? Ollie, who barely has himself figured out. Ollie, who hasn’t even had his first kiss, let alone gone any further. They’ll graduate, and Ryan will go back to whatever hot girl he left in Providence, and Ollie will be all but forgotten.

“Listen, I know they’re not the greatest, and the way they were talking about me, I didn’t seem too great, either. But I… I’m not really like that anymore,” Ryan says. He rubs at his face. “Did that stuff make you uncomfortable? Like, what they were talking about?”

“I don’t know. Not really. Hooking up with a bunch of hot girls just kinda seems like the type of thing you’d brag about,” Ollie says. Ryan shrugs, and he still won’t look at Ollie. Ollie wonders why. He tilts his head, squinting his eyes at Ryan. “Do you regret it?” he asks. “Do you regret coming here?”

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